I was very much myself today, and you held me anyway.
The question, “What in this moment is lacking?”
The answer, “Nothing, but my heart is broken.”
When you change your life for the sake of others you must accept that if it doesn’t work, that’s okay too.
How can something so beautiful become so distorted and ugly?
A few months ago, I downloaded an article about why people don’t follow through. I still haven’t read it.
I already know I must search out, cobble together, what I need. It’s not right here, so I have to find it.
Does it become more valuable because I have to dig it from the ground? Wrench it from the Earth’s clutches?
In the seeking, I learn what’s truly desired. Or is it now an obsession? Or just a waste of time? Or is it just lost to me? Am I run by convenience and the unnecessary?
Easily distracted by everything; overshadowed by the Shiny. Here I am, allowing coercion, manipulation, influence.
Because I’m desperate, lonely, and willing.
I’m still afraid.
Several months ago, I stopped writing. I allowed attacks, accusations, and endless bombardment to stall me. To fill my head with worry that my words would be used against me during each encounter.
My words hurled as proof of my inadequacies. My lack of resilience. My failures.
I’ve decided it’s no longer my job to fear interpretations or retribution. This is my space, my sanctuary and I’m taking it back.
I’m very excited to share my article published this morning with A Fine Parent, parenting blog, focusing on becoming better versions of ourselves as parents. I’ve loved working with them and being a part of their mission.