An Abundance of Love

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Each piece you hand out may never return. Giving it all away so freely, you must know dangers await. Without a string attached, it won’t know to return. How will you have more than what you’ve got, if you’re slapping it in the hand of every stranger that walks by?

Surely, you could take more care. Keep it closer. Dole it out, once worth has been assessed? It’ll all be gone and you’ll be left empty handed. Hollow-hearted. Weak and sad.

I keep all of mine in here. See? It’s just there. In that pile. Waiting. For the right time. The right one. The one that deserves it. Earned it. Needs it. I’ll be fine sitting here, watching you empty of your abundance.

Fine, go. All I need is just there. Under that layer of dust. Beneath the lost and lonely. Don’t worry, I know what to do. While you dump yours all over, I’ll have mine right here. Close and always waiting.

Why Write When All This Shit Is Happening?

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I haven’t been writing. I’ve actively avoided it.

Because

Writing, focusing, fretting about little things in my life when all of this horrible shit is happening seems to me to be a waste

Of TIME

I tell myself, “write. write. write.”

Why?

“It keeps you sane.”

But it isn’t important when so much hate has been released from so many.

“The hate was always there.”

Was it? All of these people were faking all this time? They were kept under control and now that we have a leader that condones bad behavior, they’ve let loose their feelings? I don’t believe it. It can’t be true. People are better than that. I can’t write about personal struggles when there are people being persecuted because of their beliefs.

“That’s been happening since the dawn of time. Never stopped you before.”

It’s stopping me now.

“Is it?”

I feel paralyzed. Helpless. Terrified. What can I do?

“Don’t be distracted. Make the choices you’ve always made. Continue to send out love and connection and compassion. Be who you are. And write.”

It’s selfish.

“Is it?”

A Conversation With Myself

What’re you doing? Get back!
Don’t worry. I’m fine. I know what I’m doing.
What if you don’t? And this all ends badly?
Nothing will ever happen or become if I’m too afraid to try.
Reconsider.
No.
No? You don’t know what’s going to happen. You don’t know how this will turn out. Everything you’ve worked for.
Life’s too short not to love. Look around you. All your work is nothing without love.
I’m afraid.
To love?
Yes. What if I’m wrong?
Then you’re wrong. And that’s okay. Do not fear love. Love makes us. And we are not fear.

***

Written for Moral Mondays which can be found here: https://moralmondays.wordpress.com/2016/07/31/moral-mondays-there-is-no-fear-in-love/

“THERE IS NO FEAR IN LOVE”

All This Wind

You shouldn’t be here. Not
with all this
Wind.
Tendrils torn
Sweeping loss, flakes of flesh
Bits pealed away
Steal away
up to the sky
This Wind.
Tumbling, stumbling,
skittering down the street.
Pressed to a wall, a fence, a tree
Brief rest before whisking off
rolling, tearing, crumbling
chunks of muscle
The side of your face
The heel of you palm
broken jaw
You shouldn’t be here.
Not with all this
Wind.

losing the greatest of minds

god is an illusion. god is an excuse. i’m so angry i could weep. what would you do? would you hang up the sign? Or refuse? would you risk so much for one person? one stranger? one friend? one child? what will i do? i will love my neighbors. open my heart to each one. send out good will. not everyone sees the world as you do. not everyone wishes for your best. you can hope and pray and want and plead. you can work and scrape and crawl. you can give and give and give. and nothing. and nothing. and nothing. you may walk alone in the evening. sending out your love. a small package. watching it touch down on each roof and doorstep. you aren’t the only one to send out hopes and dreams for everyone. peace wishers and wall breakers. but the arguing does not reach your ears. your eyes are on the night sky. orion. andromeda? that w. bullet misses and sails out the door. pushing through the air to meet you. through your temple. bright white. an explosion. sparks, a halo, a ball of light. ascending, expanding, and finally, tendrils up through the air. disappearing. witnessed by no one. lost to everyone. empty to all that was once there.